Last week, my good friend, Khong, messaged me on Facebook and asked, “What are your plans now? What will you do? What are the options? Whom do you fight this battle for?” His last question retained in my mind. To whom do I really fight this battle for? There were so many reasons that I have mentioned, and here are some parts of it:
“What are your options, Deo?”
My doctor said that as of now, there are only two options, go for dialysis or opt for a kidney transplant. We decided to go for the latter. Why? First of all, because of a better quality of life it promises. In dialysis, I would be hooked to a machine that cleanse my blood for 4 hours, 3 times a week. Secondly, I’m still young and there are plenty of things I still want to do. Third, it’s my parents wish not to undergo dialysis. And lastly, my doctor suggests that it is better to have it than to choose the other one.
So what is my decision? I must go for a kidney transplant.
“So this fight is for whom, Deo?”
First of all, I am fighting for my wife and my marriage.
I just got married to a beautiful woman in December of last year. Our marriage is very young. We have a lot of dreams and we are looking at a bright future ahead of us. I know that there’s no reason for me to surrender. I believe that with the help of God, those dreams that we dreamt and planned together, will become a reality. I also believe that this is just a hard start and good things will follow. With the help of God, we can surpass everything.
My wife is a very strong woman. When I first knew about my disease, she’s the only one that comforted me. She stayed strong. She acted as my foundation as I slowly build mine. With that, I honor her a lot and she’s one of the reasons why I fight this battle.
I fight for Nanay
Nanay is a very tough woman. My aunts always tell me that she is the strongest of them all. However, being a wife and a mother, I know that somehow, giving her heartache, such as this, could definitely tear her apart. Tatay has been already in this situation, so why am I to join.
I can see the hardships of Nanay as she takes care of Tatay. As I shared before, Tatay is on dialysis treatment. I just can’t imagine what she could feel if I would be plugged into a hemodialysis machine, too. I don’t want to give her another set of burden, even though I know the fact, that in case it would happen, she will remain strong, and won’t show any pain to us. I cannot forgive myself if something bad happens to her, and that is why Nanay, is one of the reasons why I fight this battle.
I fight for Tatay
Tatay is diabetic and that’s the reason why his kidneys failed. As I’ve said earlier, he is undergoing dialysis treatment. Right now, he is doing the procedure three times a week. Three months ago, he just had two sessions a week, but his edema (water retention) got worse. Seeing his fight, it discourages me to go the same path he’s in right now. His skin color has changed. He is bloated. He easily gets tired. He even went cardiac arrest many times when in session.
I know that it’s hard for him and I know that it would hurt him to see me suffering, too. That is why, this fight is for Tatay, too.
I fight for my friends.
The support I get from my friends are phenomenal. The moment they knew about my disease, they offered help as soon as possible. They even mobilize themselves to help me do fundraisers. They are one of the reasons I fight this battle.
I fight for my service.
I was in the community of Couples for Christ since I was in High School. I started as a CFC Youth for Christ and now, I’m a full time missionary worker of CFC Global Mission Foundation. I believe that God did not give me this disease if I can’t win over it. I want to serve more. I want to fight serving the Lord. If I go down, I will go down while serving Him. This fight is also for service.
Help me fight this battle, friends. I wish that at the end, it is us that wins. Help me to make my hope, our fight.